My wife, Jama, and I had an amazing dinner last night (at Carlitto Gardel in LA, incidentally) - we were out because yesterday was the day we learned the sex of our second child. At our ultrasound appointment yesterday morning, we asked our OB/GYN to write down on a piece of paper what the sex was and we didn't read it until we were done with the excellent appetizers. I pulled out the paper, put it down flat on the table and we counted to three - I lifted my hand, "It's a girl!" Now, I need to tell you that we TOTALLY were expecting a boy...Maybe it's because it just seems natural after having a girl first (our daughter, Adeline, almost 3yrs) or maybe it's because Jama felt "different" during her first trimester this time around...or maybe it's because three separate psychics said we were going to have a boy next! Three! Turns out all three were less than clairvoyant! I know what you're thinking, "Why the heck did you guys go to three psychics?" (see? even I'm more clairvoyant than those three!) Well, two sessions were gifts and one was the guru of Jama's Feng Shui class. But I gotta tell ya - you will not see me reading my horoscope any more, no way. One of the psychics even told us last year we would conceive in the early spring of 2010 and give birth in December - to a boy...so, of course, we felt compelled to conceive in early spring so that we would be due in December (we're due Dec 11th), don't want to mess with fate, right? And it's a girl?! What the - ?!
I'm sure our main course was as delicious as those appetizers last night, but I have no recollection. My attention was on my wife, she had quite a reaction to the news. She didn't realize how much she had wanted it to be a boy until that moment. Her reaction was shock followed quickly by tears. Then she became more emotional as she had a reaction to her reaction - she didn't want our little girl in there to feel her momentary and involuntary disappointment at the revelation.
Our server came by the table. We had told him why we were there and he asked if we had read the paper yet. I said, "Yes, it's a girl!" I think he noticed my wife's moist eyes because he immediately launched into how lucky we are, god bless him, because all his mother had ever wanted was a girl and she got three boys. My wife and I realized we would probably encounter that type of response many times over the next few days of sharing the news with friends and family - "It's a girl? That's great! Here's why it's great..." because they know we were thinking it was a boy.
And it IS great! Oh man, we are so blessed to have one healthy child, let alone two, and we are blessed to have so many caring people in our lives who will welcome, love and protect this child when she comes. And, heck, we're just blessed to do things like eat in restaurants with empathetic servers and hang with psychics and gurus.
And how do I feel about the news? Well, several things go through my head, among them I want to pass on the family name [although that can happen more and more with daughters these days - I mean, my wife kept her name and her name is only 2 letters different than mine (Williamson)!], and I definitely want to do all those dad/son things like teaching him how to fish, how to shave, and how to act aloof to win the affection of a beautiful woman like his mom; but mainly, when I got the news, I was watching my wife across the table ride a gigantic wave of emotion and acceptance.
My wife and I both woke up this morning feeling a lot more settled and excited about the news. And I also found myself thinking today about my grandparents who had 4 daughters before a son...I imagine they had a few memorable dinners as well.
-Curtis Williams, dad of 1 and 1/2 girls